We learn what we see at home #ShareTheLoad

This topic has been discussed a lot in my family and among my friends too as every house has the same story to say. Since I come from a middle class family where my mom was a homemaker. She wasn't educated and hence couldn't fetch a job outside. She used to stitch clothes at home and earn for the family. In my case, I studied law and was working before I got married. As my husband belonged to a upper middle class family, he asked me to leave my job and work at home only. I had kids as well to look after and I used to feel lonely at home when my kids used to work out and my only pass time was my work at home. I used to spend my time learning new dishes everyday.



Watching the advertisement, I remembered my father who had a different view towards women and men working at home. We were two sisters and he never treated us less as we both were his two eyes and he loved us equally. I used to see him working in a school and when he used to come home, he used to support his wife in the housework and cut the vegetables and wash the clothes. We dint own a washing machine at that time and all clothes were washed by hand and my father used to take up this responsibility as he did not know how to cook. He brought me up with dignity and told me that there is no job that a woman cannot do and man can do despite the physical ability. He used to believe that every man has to do his own work and not depend on the woman of the house to do all the work. However, he accepted the fact that when his daughters get married, they need to learn how to do the housework and that's what even I learnt at a young age.



I did not ever feel the burden on my own at home but I did agree that men also should share the responsibilities with the women of the house and hence I taught my son also to take care of his own room. The same has been passed on to the new generation and now my grand kids also clean their room, take care of their clothes and have learned how to atleast make breakfast. I support this #ShareTheLoad campaign of Ariel and wish that everyone does the same.


I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

Reward your kids #ShareTheLoad

 

 

I was a part of a mom's community and we all were discussing about how to make our kids learn to do their own work and be responsibile. It was because my grand kids used to leave their room untidy and not even keep their clothes at the right places. I started then noting few things that I wanted my grand kids to learn and there was an application shown to me by my daughter that used to reward kids by giivng them cash rewards for keeping their room clean. It was something innovative and with the help of that app, I too decided to do something similar so that my grand kids too take up this responsibility and contribute to the housework.

My daughter and I sat together and made a plan as follows:

Brief of the plan:

 

This plan helps moms to keep a track of the cleanliness of the house and motivate household members to take part regularly in the household chores especially children who often are in a hurry and do not pay attention to the cleanliness of their room and leave it untidy.

 

Kids will motivate to clean their room and as they will get special rewards which moms usually give kids on special occasions and the rewards are cost effective. The plan will encourage kids to share the responsibility and they will too find it a fun task to do. The task of moms to constantly monitor their kids room will reduce as the app takes this responsibility by checking the germ percentage in each area.
　

 

 

 

 

Areas that need to be cleaned:
 1. Bathroom (3 sections)
 2. Kids room (4 sections)
 3. Cupboards (6 sections)

 Steps:

 1. I first made a note of the areas and sections that need to be cleaned.
 2. Each area was assigned points (example: 100 points for the drawer, 200 points for the table, 500 points for astacking the clothes in order, 1000 points for keeping all the books and notes in the cupboard everyday after doing the homework and so on).
 3. If the kids earn a total of 5000 points in a week, the reward they earn is a pocket money of Rs. 50. If they earn 10,000 points, they get Rs. 100 and so on.
 4. There is a time limit as well for completing this task and everyday the cleaning task schedule is changed.
 5. On weekends, kids need to spend atleast 2 hours on this cleaning task.
　

When I made this timetable and explained my grandkids the same, they were excited to do this task and I was surprised to see the results. I made the same plan for my grand daughters and grand sons and never made boys to not do the housework or treat them in a special way as boys too need to share the load with the girls of the house. Ariel has already brought this change to effect and I support their campaign whole heartedly. If every house follows the above routine like I did, it will surely be a new change introduced in our society where there will be no gender prejudice.

 

  I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

Stop judging women and appreciate them - #IAmCapable

I'm happy that Nihar Naturals and Blogadda have chosen a topic that is close to my heart. I keep talking to my family members about this judgmental view of the society and I have always noticed that when it comes to women, the society mainly only judges the look of a person and rates them as per their beauty. This has been happening for years and only with women which leads to a discrimination.


Personal experience:

I myself have two daughters and both are good looking and reserved but for me more than their looks, I care about their upbringing and knowledge which is useful for them in life. I have given them the best education and upbringing as I was capable of it and never taught them to judge others based on their looks but there are many people who differentiate between girls based on their looks. I've never stopped them from wearing jeans or skirts and they are free to wear what they want.


I have often heard from women in my neighbourhood that since my daughters are good looking and since they wear salwars and long dresses, they would get a good looking husband and decent husband too but I have told them that more than looks and their clothes, the upbringing and behavior of a person matters the most. Looks do not remain with a person forever but if a person is capable of getting recognition, he/she will get the best life partners irrespective of their looks. There should be a mutual understanding and respect that should exist in a relationship.
　
Real life examples:
If we look at Bollywood couples, there are so many couples who have proved that looks are not all that matter but the main thing is love and respect. However, when a couple breaks up, people immediately jump in to find the reason and the best reason they can get is looks.


When Hrithik and Suzzane got divorced, the reason which a famous newspaper brand gave was looks. Hrithik being more handsome and good looking than his wife was quoted as a reason and that was the most shocking and weird thing for me. What has looks got to do when a couple gets divorced? They were married because they love each other but people judge everyone based on looks in today's time.
　




Coming to another Bollywood couple who were again talked about based on looks. It's none other than the famous couple of Bollywood, Aishwaria Rai and Abhishek Bachchan. Aishwaria being the most beautiful woman of our country and Abhishek being an average look man were spoken about as people said that they won't stay long as the wife looks better than the husband. Contradicting their statement, the couple are more than happy with each other today and have proved the speculation wrong.
　



Another person who was judged on basis of her looks was Smita Patil as she wasn't a charming beauty of Bollywood and many underestimated her based on that. However, she surpassed all the criticism and became one of the best actresses of Bollywood and one of the most successful actresses as well. She proved that talent is all that matters and not looks.



Here are the statistics of Nihar Naturals:
a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.
b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.
I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder - #IAmCapable!

I can relate to the women of today who are judged based on their external looks as same was the case with me as well when I was young and working in the court.
I had been god gifted with beautiful skin and silky hair and hence there were many people who used to praise me for my looks and call me Beauty with Brains as I was not only good looking but also very good in studies and I had received a scholarship from my college as well. It was in the 80s when I had been to a beauty parlor which I used to visit often. I asked them to do a facial and they put a face pack on my skin. After 30 minutes they removed the face pack and everything was fine till I reached home. I washed my face then and I noticed that my face had turned red and it started burning a lot. I put a cream and thought everything would be fine but the next day I started getting pimples which broke after few days and left permanent scars on my face.



After this horrendous experience, I lost my beauty which was considered a plus point for me and people also started mocking me for my looks. The same people who used to praise me earlier, started condemning me. I wondered then that it's only beauty that matters and my scholarship, my education, my knowledge doesn't matter to them at all. They only used to see my outer beauty and not my potential. This case did not demotivate me and I still went on to complete my studies and I started working in the court. There also I met men who used to call me scary due to my scars and many a times I used to reach home crying and my mother used to console me. I tried many surgeries to get my looks back but all went in vain.

It was then I realized that looks matter a lot to a woman and whether or not she is talented, she gets the recognition which lesser beautiful women who are talented never receive. Whether it's any field, a women is known for her looks which is the approach of today's men and society as well. It's not only men who judge a woman based on her looks, but women too do the same and put down other women and differentiate between them. It's demeaning and hurtful to regard a women just for her beauty and not her brains. Later on, comments were passed based on my dressing style as I mostly wore dresses and people used to pass nasty remarks about me. They used to comment saying that since I'm a catholic, nobody will tell me anything but if I was their daughter, they would have stopped me from wearing such cheap dresses.


"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" I believe in this statement and if a person's mind and heart are beautiful, for them each and every person is beautiful. Looks don't matter at all. External beauty fades one day but inner beauty never fades. It stays with a person all their life.




Here I would like to share what people thinking about this:
a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.
b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

 

I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.