Do not lose out on time #MagicOfWarmth

I am 4 years younger to my sister and we have no other siblings. I was a bright student in school and college and used to always stand first in the class. My father was a Hindi master and he always appreciated me for my marks and intelligence while he used to always get angry with my sister and beat her for her mischief. She used to get the lowest marks in class and once she failed in the subject of Religion. That irked my dad a lot and he believed that she couldn’t study anymore and hence made me leave the school and study through correspondence. I did not understand what was going on as I was very small but this created a problem between me, my sister and my mother who loved my elder sister more than me. She always pampered her a lot but never cared for me the same way. I used to go to school with my dad and he used to stand outside my school till the time I gave my exams but I used to miss my mom as I need her too besides me. Later, I started working and travelling around the state for days. It was only my dad who used to call me up to ask when I will reach home but my mother never cared to do so. It was then my sister went to visit my aunt in Indonesia and my mother was so nervous about her that she kept calling her daily to ask how she was. It hurt me a lot to see her care for my sister because she never felt the same for me. She being my mother, I expected the same love from her that I never got. I don’t know when this distance between us started increasing and when I got married, my mother just cut every contact with me and never called me up. I used to visit home sometimes and she used to behave indifferently. I got upset one day and confronted her. She told me the reason that shocked me completely. She said that because I was intelligent and my sister wasn’t, she preferred to care more for my sister as I already had my dad’s love. I was completely shattered and I decided that I’ll never talk to her again. When I used to visit home, I used to ignore her and then when dad died, I only spoke to my sister but not my mother and we always maintained a distance.

 

 

It was few years ago when my mother got a brain hemorrhage and was admitted in the hospital. She was very weak and when I visited her, her one eye was closed. I used to sit beside her bed every night and hold her hand tightly asking forgiveness for being so cold and indifferent towards her. She was in unconscious but I knew she could hear me. After few days, she opened her eyes and she could speak then. She held my hand tightly and said that while she was unconscious, she could feel my presence beside her. She knew I was talking to her and she said that she loves me and always loved me a lot. It was only because my sister was not as capable and intelligent as I was that she had to care for her more as I was mature enough and capable to live my life independently. She apologized saying that it was her mistake that she left me alone when I needed her the most and what my dad had done in anger by removing my sister from the school, she too had done bad to me by ignoring me. I told her that I have forgiven her and that I had also done wrong by not talking to her while I could have resolved the differences between us. She smiled at me and said “I love you, Luiza.” Those were her last words to me and a week later, she expired. Today as I write this blog, I can’t stop crying as I just wished that I had got more time with my mother and had not ignored her earlier.

 

We often ignore and be rude to our loved ones but one moment of warmth can change everything. We just need to have one in time so that the relationship doesn’t get bitter later.

 

I’m blogging about my #MagicOfWarmth moment at BlogAdda in association with Parachute Advansed Hot Oil