Dear Zindagi,
It’s odd that I’m writing this letter to you
as more than half of my life is over and I don’t know how many moments of you
are still left with me. Still I have many things to say to you and tell you
what I have felt about you.
My grand parents died when I was 9 and at
that time, I could barely understand the meaning of life and death. I was
extremely sad to see them die and my family told me that they have gone to
sleep, a sleep from which they will never wake up and it’s endless. I was very
angry and depressed as I wanted them back as they were my own. I told my mother
that I cannot live without them and when I saw her trying to cope up with her
pain, she introduced me to the term ZINDAGI (Life) and told me a lot more
things about you. She told me that life never stops for anyone and it keeps
moving till the last breath of a person. That time, I was unable to understand
what did she actually mean.
As I grew older, I realized your importance
and how you never wait for anyone. As days and years started passing by, I got
scared about your end and the moments started making me feel even worse. I
could not even life the moments I have with me thinking that you are about to
get over and thinking about my death and it being painful is something I fear even
today. I know the fact that
what starts has to end, what begins has to finish and what is born has to die,
but still I am not able to let you finish whether it’s me or my family and
kids.
I have watched you leaving many souls and
everytime I felt that you will leave me too very soon. I understand that you
can’t wait for anybody and everyone’s life is destined. Some people don’t even
get to experience you. I used to feel that those who haven’t been born are
lucky as life can be very painful if it ends before time and losing a loved one
is the worse feeling ever. But then when I close my eyes, I feel that life is
beautiful and everyone should get a chance to live instead of fearing it’s
going to end soon. Why is it always confusing, Dear Zindagi? Why are you so
beautiful but still so complicated?
There comes a time when I want you to stop
for a moment to let me think how I’ve spent you all these years but you keep
slipping out of my fingers and I never get a chance to even rectify my
mistakes. Like I make a calculation of my money, I feel like calculating you
too but the figure is always negative like the years gone behind. I know that
as I am not perfect, you too are not perfect and that’s what relates me to you.
Still I feel that you’re so short and as I don’t know which second is going to
be my last. Today you are here and tomorrow you aren’t but still I can’t get
angry with you as you have given me all that I’ve wanted from you and for this,
I’ll always love you.
Your’s forever,
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